Now, Today, Present

It is crazy how everything changes. I don’t regret decisions i have made, i don’t regret the time i have spent. I regret the predicament left. The aftermath. Where the change comes as a scary shock, where the world seems a different darker place. But then you look forward, past the impending gloom and into the light and you feel different, elated. Like nothing should have been changed. For once, i can honestly say that maybe these past two years have made me a better person.

The past haunts me, and flows through my veins. It is a shadow i can never outrun. The danger, the playing with fire has burnt intself deep into who i am. But i am proud. Proud of what i have achieved, what i have done and where i am going. I dont doubt myself, i dont doubt what i can do. I underestimate the power others have over me. It is a powerful hold, a tightening restraining hold that you have to fight to be free.

I bruise to easily, and scar to quickly. I drain myself with meaningless, endless questions that people dont hold the answer to. I am naive, and wear my heart on my sleeve. Once upon a time i believed in happy endings, now i believe we make our endings. Fate is something we create.

The hardest thing to deal with is what other people can do to you. I have been hurt. I have been broken. But i would not be who i am today without it. I have loved like there would be no tomorrow, and cried until i would  not see clearly again. But i do not regret a moment. Everything is worthwhile when you remember to smile.

Be strong little one, stay quiet. We will prevail in the end.