I am struggling to see the good in you when you demean yourself to showing me your darker side. Please, show yourself. Redeem yourself.

Now, Today, Present

It is crazy how everything changes. I don’t regret decisions i have made, i don’t regret the time i have spent. I regret the predicament left. The aftermath. Where the change comes as a scary shock, where the world seems a different darker place. But then you look forward, past the impending gloom and into the light and you feel different, elated. Like nothing should have been changed. For once, i can honestly say that maybe these past two years have made me a better person.

The past haunts me, and flows through my veins. It is a shadow i can never outrun. The danger, the playing with fire has burnt intself deep into who i am. But i am proud. Proud of what i have achieved, what i have done and where i am going. I dont doubt myself, i dont doubt what i can do. I underestimate the power others have over me. It is a powerful hold, a tightening restraining hold that you have to fight to be free.

I bruise to easily, and scar to quickly. I drain myself with meaningless, endless questions that people dont hold the answer to. I am naive, and wear my heart on my sleeve. Once upon a time i believed in happy endings, now i believe we make our endings. Fate is something we create.

The hardest thing to deal with is what other people can do to you. I have been hurt. I have been broken. But i would not be who i am today without it. I have loved like there would be no tomorrow, and cried until i would  not see clearly again. But i do not regret a moment. Everything is worthwhile when you remember to smile.

Be strong little one, stay quiet. We will prevail in the end.